Gahhh! Someone should really publish an article (or a book, even better) on having a good, likeable conversation with your boyfriend's parents.

Not that I haven't met them before, I actually met them first before I met Jeff. His mom was the one who told him to make friends with me because I was new here and I just moved from California.

But that was a church gathering, and we weren't together then (duh). Things are waaay different now.

Why am I suddenly feeling this way? Because 2 nights ago I got invited to have dinner with their family.

I tried to put down the said invitation (I know it's rude but let me explain first) because this is the 2nd dinner that I will be having with them as The Girlfriend and the first was one was so DYAHE (how the heck do u translate that english? Can someone please tell me the exact english word for this? It's driving me nuts trying to explain this to Jeff) that I will not even gon tell you about it anymore and I was still traumatized so yeah, I was not ready yet. I thought I need to do some further research to gear me up before I go down the battlefield...

But nooooooooooo! I kept telling Jeff that I can't come so his mom personally called my phone and invited me herself! How can I turn that down? I had no choice!

Dengit.

So there I was, Friday night, stuffing my face with BBQ pork fried rice with some sweet and sour pork while having a conversation with La Familia Velarde, trying hard to be the most adorable future DIL (daughter-in-law) that I, in my opinion, will never be.

And my lovely boyfriend *looks at Jeff and pinches his cheeks*, being no help at all, made the situation even worse *digging my nails on his cheeks*. He just had to tell the damn story huh *his cheeks are now bleeding*.

What's The Story, you may ask? Oh you know, when we met, I thought he was gay.

Hey, I just moved from California okay, and my school was pretty ghetto. I was surrounded by guys who only wear hiphop and the only guy who wears American Eagle (aka WHITE BOY/surfer style) was an Asian gay guy. And Jeff was wearing an American Eagle shirt when I met him.

Not that I think all guys who wear American Eagle are all gay, but I didn't know any better then, okay.

So what's the big deal about The Story? Well, uh, if you're a father, a somewhat strict father I may add, and someone just told you that your panganay looks gay, will that make you happy?

Nuh-uh. I didn't think so too.

Of course when Jeff told them The Story they had to laugh because duh, it's supposed to be a funny page in our lives but I think they didn't think it was funny.

And I think they hate me.

Am I just stressing out too much about this?

Ugh. Remember Kate Hudson's character in How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days? She was the how-to girl - meaning her articles are just how to's (ie. How to get away from a speeding ticket, How to get a date in a funeral, etc.) - at the magazine that she was working for. Well, I wish she was real, so she can write my damn article.

Ugh. K, till here.

Your suckiness,

xoxo Francesca Milyonarya